Lily Allen Recalls Seeing Her ‘Red Flag’ Behavior With 1st Boyfriend


Lily Allen Recalls Identifying Her Own Red Flag Behavior With 1st Boyfriend
Dave Benett/Getty Images for Harper’s Bazaar

Lily Allen identified her own relationship “red flags,” revealing she didn’t have the healthiest dynamic with her first romantic partner.

“As soon as I got my first boyfriend, Lester, [there was a] complete transference of intimacy,” Allen, 39, said during the Monday, February 24, episode of her “Miss Me?” podcast. “Not only did I not want to touch or be cuddled or be kissed by anyone in my family, I couldn’t engage in it with them either. It was like, this person is where I’ve put that now.”

Looking back, Allen confessed, “It’s incredibly, like, red flag, codependent behavior that I just put all of my emotional dependency on that one person.”

Since her first relationship, Allen has had several public romances including her marriage to Sam Cooper. The pair tied the knot in June 2011 and welcomed their first child, daughter Ethel, that same year. Allen and Cooper welcomed their second daughter, Marnie, in 2013.

Lily Allen Says She Never Had Sex 'Not Drunk' Until Getting Together With Husband David Harbour

Related: Lily Allen Never Slept With Anyone ‘Not Drunk’ Until Husband David Harbour

Lily Allen and husband David Harbour’s respective sobriety journeys impacted their relationship — but only in certain ways. “We don’t really talk about it,” Allen, 39, told The Times of London in a profile published on Saturday, November 30. “I don’t think I’d ever had sex with anybody not drunk before I got together with […]

The “Hard Out Here” singer separated from Cooper, 47, in 2016, and they finalized their divorce two years later.

Allen eventually moved on romantically with actor David Harbour in 2019. She confirmed their engagement in May 2020 and the pair got married that September.

Lily Allen Recalls Identifying Her Own Red Flag Behavior With 1st Boyfriend
Sean Zanni/WireImage

Earlier this year, split rumors surfaced about Allen and Harbour, 49. Neither of them has publicly spoken about the speculation, but Allen did give fans an update about her mental health during the February 13 episode of her and Miquita Oliver’s podcast.

“I just feel very grateful to have been given the time and the space that I needed. I went into a sort of treatment center for a few weeks, which was great,” Allen told her listeners at the time. “I did a lot of group therapy and some individual therapy, and I needed some time and space away from everything.”

She explained that during her multi-week stay, she worked on her “inner child,” confessing, “It’s a lifelong journey of healing.”

Allen, who previously struggled with drugs and alcohol, noted that she was in “emotional turmoil” before taking time to work on herself. “I’m not saying I’m 100 percent there and I’m not saying that I’m getting it 100 percent right or ever will, but I’m definitely in a stronger place,” she concluded.

Lily Allen Admits Shes Really Not in a Good Place Denies Rehab Rumors

Related: Lily Allen Admits She’s ‘Really Not in a Good Place,’ Denies Rehab Rumors

Lily Allen candidly addressed her ongoing mental health struggles — and shut down rumors she was going to rehab following a relapse. During the Thursday, January 9, episode of her “Miss Me?” podcast, Allen, 39, announced she was stepping back while “finding it really hard to be interested in anything” at the moment. “I’m really […]

Harbour, meanwhile, was spotted spending time with model Ellie Beers Fallon in Georgia, according to photos posted by Deux Moi in February.

The Stranger Things actor was then photographed at Saturday Night Live’s 50th anniversary special on February 16 without his wedding ring. (Harbour was also seen at the 2025 Critics Choice Awards in January without his wedding band.)


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