By Robert Scucci
| Published
When Tommy Wiseau’s The Room saw its 2003 release, it didn’t take long for audiences and critics alike to deem it “The Citizen Kane of bad movies.” Wiseau, who wrote, directed, produced, edited, personally financed, and stars in the film, decided to backpedal and say that the film was always meant to be a dark comedy rather than the serious drama he originally set out to create. However, there is one film that perplexes me more than The Room, and it’s Neil Breen’s Double Down.
Double Down, Breen’s 2005 debut, boasts similar accoutrements to Wiseau’s work, but plays it so straight that I’m actually not sure whether he’s sincere and delusional, or our generation’s Andy Kauffman in the sense that he’s been trolling his audience for two decades for the love of the game.
Suspense Or Satire?
Double Down is supposedly meant to be a suspenseful thriller about shadow ops, computer hacking, bio-terrorism, grief, and revenge. The film’s synopsis on IMDB states that it’s a “controversial story of a lone genius who closes down the Las Vegas Strip … The Government can’t stop him. As he reunites with his dead girlfriend each night.”
On paper, and at face-value, Double Down sounds like a cross between Hackers and the John Wick films, but what’s shown on screen couldn’t be further from the film’s description. I can only surmise that this synopsis was also written by Neil Breen, who, like Wiseau, wrote, directed, produced, edited, personally financed, and stars in his own film.
Terrorism With A Side Of Tuna
Neil Breen portrays Aaron Brand in Double Down, and he’s a Jack, and master, of all trades. He’s a genius who has remote access to every government satellite, and his list of accomplishments is about as ridiculous as his denim vest that adorns his various medals of honor (of which there are plenty). After Aaron becomes so “digitally and electronically powerful,” the Secret Strategic Support Branch of the Defense Intelligence Agency he worked so closely with in the past feels threatened by his abilities and assassinates his girlfriend.
Through a flashback sequence, Aaron floats face-down, completely naked, in a swimming pool next to his dead girlfriend after shouting “uggghhh!” when she is fatally shot by a sniper hiding in the distance.
After receiving a directive from another country to shut down the Las Vegas Strip for two months, Aaron gets to work with his “little simple, brilliant setup,” which is five laptops, a handful of flip phones, and a couple of Dish Network satellites affixed to the trunk of his Mercedes.
Living a solitary life in the desert in order to covertly carry out his many acts of terrorism, Aaron drives around while eating dry tuna straight out of the can despite the fact that he’s also a millionaire. Though Breen’s many exposition dumps suggest that Aaron Brand is a skilled mercenary of the highest order, the biggest threat to humanity he poses is while trying to drive and eat at the same time, undermining the film’s premise entirely.
Lacking Self-Awareness Or In On The Joke?
It may sound like I’m making all of this up, but Double Down is full of contradictions and surprises that make me wonder if Breen is in on the joke.
Double Down features anthrax injected strawberries, botched newlywed assassinations, secret government meetings that take place in grocery store parking lots in broad daylight, breaking into a Ferrari with a flip phone, curing brain cancer with a mysterious pebble, and Neil Breen sitting in the back of his car while frantically tapping away on several laptops that never seem to be turned on.
If you’re a “Breeniac” like me, you’ll notice that the kind of technical expertise depicted in Double Down is a through line across all six of Neil Breen’s films, like Fateful Findings, which are equally convoluted.
Doubling Down On Double Down
Tommy Wiseau may have retconned The Room as a dark comedy, but Neil Breen has consistently “doubled down” on the fact that he’s a legitimate filmmaker, and that he’s the real deal. Whether he’s in on the joke or not, I’m thankful for the fact that I was born into a world where Neil Breen exists becuase I’ve found so much joy in tearing through his filmography that I may be certifiably insane myself.
While you can’t find Double Down anywhere on streaming, you can listen to the GenreVision podcast if you’re willing to fall into the same Breen hole I’m currently trying to escape.