For one former UPSC aspirant, the road to civil services or the UPSC exam turned into a long, painful battle with failure, job rejections, and an existential crisis that still lingers.
Sharing his experience on anonymous sharing platform Reddit, the user socrate_08 began his story with a stark realisation: “After doing almost everything for the career. I am where I started everything.”
At 26, the user shared that he held an undergraduate degree in mass media and journalism. Interested in international relations and geopolitics, in 2020, he decided to take on what many call “the toughest exam in the world”: UPSC.
Years of effort, but no results
The first attempt in 2021 ended in failure. “2021 – Pre failed,” he stated, explaining how he couldn’t pass the Prelims exam.
Undeterred, he tried again in 2022. “2022 – Pre failed.”
By 2023, the mental and emotional toll of repeated failure had caught up with him. Just a month before the prelims, he quit. “Due to anxiety, low confidence, and burnout,” he explained.
Three years had passed and he said that he had no degree that directly helped with employment.
“I grew desperate to leave home and begin earning after realizing how I had spent the three most valuable and youthful years of my life.”
Reality Check: The job market wasn’t welcoming either
He turned to digital marketing, a field booming with opportunities, or so the internet said. Influencers claimed that with online courses and a little effort, anyone could land a stable job.
But transitioning from UPSC prep to corporate work wasn’t easy for him.
“I thought, ‘what a downfall, gonna be a diplomat is looking for a digital marketing role.’”
He secured a paid media internship at an agency, only to be fired within two months. “I got fired… due to my lack of performance marketing skills.”
A new opportunity came in the form of a work-from-home internship at a mid-level startup, offering just ₹5,000 per month for nine hours of daily work.
Despite the low pay, he worked hard, handling SEO, keyword ranking, blog writing, and ad copy. His bosses were pleased. A colleague reassured him: “I don’t know about others, but you will convert.” However, he wasn’t offered this opportunity either.
Panic attacks and depression
A month of job hunting yielded zero interview calls. The rejections, coupled with his past UPSC failures, took a severe toll on his mental health.
A Step Forward: PR and Influencer Marketing
Determined to move forward, he travelled to Delhi again for in-person job interviews. The offers, however, were disappointing—”I was expecting 25K, and they were giving 20K or less. To be honest, it’s hard to live in 20K if you are an outsider.”
By now, he was contemplating restarting UPSC preparation, but the thought of facing the immense syllabus again scared him.
After months of rejection, he reached out to a friend for help. She referred him to a PR agency. He joined, despite knowing PR wasn’t his strong suit.
He managed to clear a backlog of influencer collaborations within a month. His director was impressed, giving him full responsibility over the domain.
Yet, his salary was barely enough. When the agency offered to keep him as a full-time trainee for two more months, he decided to look elsewhere.
Over the next two months, he applied to over 40 jobs and managed to crack one with a Rs 25,000 per month pay.
The Elephant in the Room: UPSC Still Haunts Him
Despite the stability, the regret of failing UPSC still lingers. He compared his job to the dream that once drove him. “I still think that I haven’t found my purpose, and whatever I am doing is to keep myself busy until I find one.”
The post resonated with many, sparking a mix of concern, reflection, and solidarity among readers.
One user admitted, “Reading all this scares me at the age of 23,” detailing their own gruelling routine of balancing law school, an internship, and SSC CGL preparation. Another user offered reassurance, saying, “It’s okay to feel this way. Completely alright. But you should not look back. Give your 100% focus and willpower to your current job.”